Little bit of theory…
The art of coaching is often about asking the right questions and listening.
In order to do this I continuously work on myself using several different theories, and I often lean on them to design my intervention plans.
Below are some examples of what has made an impact on me.
The humanist approach, PCM, and TA
It is not a form of therapy, this is a different and extremely important profession. Yet what I find extraordinary is coaching sessions can have a therapeutic effect. At the end of our session together I aim for my client to have: more clarity on their situation, to feel calmer, and to know more clearly what their next step(s) are. This in itself is no mean feat, and is a product of being listened to, being asked the right question or simply doing various exercises together.
The field of coaching is vast, and different coaches adopt different tools and approaches. I chose to follow the Coach Professionnel (executive coach) certification process with the Institut Maeutis as its foundations sit solidly on various different psychology theories, and it leans against psychometric tools.
The coaching I believe in sits on humanistic theory, the school of Palo Alto and Transactional Analysis amongst many other things. I will go into some more detail below on these topics. I also heavily lean on my training in Nonviolent Communication. I continue to attend workshops to keep practicing this skill and for inspiration for how to share information about it with my clients.
Humanistic theory : the prince, the frog and the mask
The identity of a person is described in humanistic psychology as being three layers : a prince (or princess), a frog and a mask.
This resonates heavily with me, given the fact I was born in a country where fairy tales were culturally very important! The prince unfortunately discovers inescapable aspects of life: the future is unpredictable, the past is irreversible, life is unjust, death is inevitable, the human being is inadequate, and things are senseless.
To deal with this, the prince elaborates a system of beliefs to provide meaning, such as others are not to be trusted, and rigidifies slowly. This is the identity of a frog, and in order not to be seemingly rejected by the world he develops a third identity: the mask. This mask can appear to the outside world in the form of a victim, a saviour or a persecutor.
There is overlap here with TA and PCM. TA can be used to explain what we feel, and steps that can be takes to find energy, flexibility and autonomy again. PCM can explain what drives behaviour linked to each mask, and being a psychometric tool gives us information on how to reply to our needs to lower stress. Most importantly, all of this works on our communication with others, and our knowledge of ourselves. This is what enables us to feel in the drivers seat, instead of feeling like life happens to us, or the same events seem to keep appearing. And then there was more. And then there are many other resources that enable me to practically work with my clients. Jérôme Curnier, the founder of the Institut Mau00efeutis, has written to date 5 books of theory which I am confident I will dip into for a long time to come. This includes the work of William Schutz, Viktor Frankl, and many others, as well as practical exercices I learnt during my training with him personally.
My coaching philosophy and the school of Palo Alto
All of the above theory gives a great introduction to the type of coaching that I aim to deliver. In order to perform successful interventions I believe in 8 principles that a coach needs to keep in mind:People are reacting to their version of reality.People are functioning perfectly. No such thing as being broken.Behind each behaviour is a positive intention.People make the best choice they can with what they have.Making a choice is better then not making one.Everyone has access to all the resources they need.Nothing is a failure, it is just feedback.The most flexible part of a systems controls it. He who can communicate with the largest range of people wins.